A heartbroken dad has shared the final text his son sent him the day before he killed himself.
Steve Phillip has spoken of the regret he feels for not trying to help his son Jordan more in the years before his death.
On December 3, 2019 Steve texted the 34-year-old to ask him if he wanted to chat.
Jordan turned down the offer, explaining that he was a bit tired and asking if they could catch up another time.
The next day Jordan’s girlfriend Charlotte called Steve saying she had returned to his Harrogate home returned to find him dead.
Speaking during Mental Health Awareness week, the devastated dad recalled the moment his world was torn apart.
“Charlotte said ‘Hi Steve, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry, it’s Jordan…………….. he’s killed himself’,” Steve said.
“The call duration is logged at 2 minutes, I can’t tell you what I said or what Charlotte said for the remaining 1 minute and 45 seconds.
“But that day, my beautiful 34-year-old son took his own life – Charlotte found him, with the help of a neighbour who smashed the front window of Jordan’s house to help her get in.
“You always think these things won’t come knocking on your door, “It happens to other people” and then one day your world is shattered into a million pieces.”
In 2019 there were 5,691 registered deaths by suicide in England and Wales, equating to an average of 18 suicides per day.
Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the country.
When Jordan became part of those statistics his family were completely rocked to their cores.
“In the days after we lost him, we huddled together as a family, sitting mainly in silence for the first few days and we cried a lot,” Steve continued.
“24 hours before he left us, Jordan and I were texting each other. We’d been to a whisky tasting event a week before, and before that a concert together to watch one of our favourite bands, Hootie and the Blowfish.
“In the hours leading up to him taking his own life, I was delivering a social media training workshop in Solihull which was a three-hour drive home in heavy traffic.
“The day before the workshop, Jordan and I suggested that we’d speak later that day, but after arriving at my Solihill hotel room later that evening, we decided we’d catch up another time as it was late and Jordan was tired.
“I could have done better, I could have been less busy, I could have insisted we speak or just simply called him…….I didn’t. These are my torments but inside, part of me knows he knew we cared, we did do as much as Jordan would let us do.
“What I mean is, Jordan chose to protect us from his worst torments, and we felt that if we pushed too much he would pull further away. Hindsight is a wonderful thing they say.”
In the aftermath of his death Jordan’s family have taken solace in what a well loved man he was.
He adds: “Jordan was a son, a brother, a stepson, a stepbrother, a loving boyfriend, a grandson, an uncle, a cousin and a best friend. He was tall and handsome and turned many a head, male and female.
“His friends both loved and envied him. At his funeral they described Jordan as; well-mannered, a great listener, kind and considerate, intelligent, cool but humble, ridiculously handsome, a true gentleman, humorous.
“Jordan was the kind of person who would stop and chat to homeless people and to local strangers – only a few days before he left us, he’d stopped to speak with an elderly lady who was sweeping leaves from the public pathway in front of her house. He told her what a good job she was doing.
“Jordan was also strong – he’d battled with severe depression for many years.
“He loved his family and his friends so much that he would often protect them from the ultimate depths of his despair, but he was always there for them, no matter how difficult his day was.
“There was nothing selfish about Jordan, not even at the moment he chose to end his pain in December 2019, when he took the time to write notes to his girlfriend Charlotte and his family to let us know that he loved us.
“If I could give any advice to anyone it would be look after those around you, listen to them more, be there, don’t be scared to question the signs you see and ask the difficult questions…
“You might just make a difference by doing so.”
Jordan’s family have set up a resource in his memory to try and prevent as many people as they can from taking their lives in the future.
“Most deaths by suicide are preventable, so we must do everything we can to help people who don’t want to die but are feeling they can’t bear the pain of living in their current circumstances,” they wrote on thejordanlegacy.com.
Our mission is to improve people’s mental wellbeing and the support available; to reduce people’s sense of social isolation; to encourage the development of a kinder society; and help people feel a sense of achievement and contentment because of who they are not what they have or don’t have.”